I can't seem to focus these days.

My thoughts seem to scuttle away in split seconds just when I see or hear something new. It doesn't even have to be remotely important or relevant. They just seem to be saying, "Come on, Run along!" to each other every time I have my attention off them.

I spent hours trying to fix a really simple schedule(5 hours,to be exact)...the kind of schedule where I'll usually take twenty minutes to do at the office and spend the rest of the day playing online games and pretending to be busy.

Issues after issues. Just when I've settled my heart in getting a stable permanent job, the calls came pouring in, the offers came running after me.

"Ah Mar, they making a feature film now...another is making a telemovie. How? You want?"

"I need someone to start like NOW, like TODAY...like in a FEW HOURS, a month or so. We're doing a movie...how? Can you make it?"

Yes, I can make it. Yes I would love to be involved in the gruelling hours and the screaming at one another. Yes I won't mind the diry job and the weight loss, and the endless remarks of "Gosh, look at your eyebags." I do not mind being labelled as the slipshod-girl-in-her-overused-T-shirt-and-jeans by other tastefully dressed girls with rebonded hair. Oh, I'm the worst dressed person in Shenton Way right now anyway. Come and see for yourself.

But for now, I think I should stay focused to what I had been focusing on.